Miscarriages are often referred to in extremely defeating terms, but you will not read those words here. My focus is on your healing, finding your hope and coming to a place of peace with your body and your spirit. I often speak and write about my experiences as a twin mom. But I want to do my part to remove the secrecy of miscarriage. Before becoming pregnant with our twins, I experienced two miscarriages, back to back. I’d like to share what I learned through the process to help parents and also those surrounding the couple, to provide them with the support they need. We survived the pain and found healing in hope and you can also.
After a Miscarriage, Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Although nothing can take away the hurt and devastation, having support can make a difference. Getting the support when you need it is very important. And that’s why we need the taboo of miscarriage to be lifted, both in our personal environment and in our work environments. You should be able to speak your truth so your experience is validated on your terms.
For me, healing occurred when I allowed myself to feel what was in my head and in my heart. In a way, a miscarriage is a death for yourself. It is the death of your dreams for your baby. To look to the future, I was able to find hope in the situation and this was, for me, the most important step to healing. That’s what saved me. It was not the end of what happened, It happened twice in a row. I was very sad, but at the same time, very trusting of the process as to why it happened.
Mindset Matters on the Road to Acceptance
I began to realize that it simply wasn’t the right time for this little soul that chose to come into my life. Either that or it simply was not the right time for my body to be able to host life until the end, it was just not right. And by having that belief, of accepting, bringing the grievance to acceptance, to believe that whatever happened, happened for a reason and to trust, and to then be able to then transmute the pain into faith in what is going to happen next really gave me the strength to continue to journey.
Symbolically I had two miscarriages and had twins right after so I really believe in signs, in synchronicity in life, in messages and so on. Each time I knew for me, I was 100% sure I had lost a little boy and a little girl and they came back in my mind, maybe it’s not a reality, but as my fraternal twins, sister and brother.
Meditations to Heal Your Body, Mind and Soul
When I was going through the pain, I did meditation exercises. I was doing meditation every day, until I got pregnant. And after I got pregnant life became too crazy with twins. That’s why today I do it in a different way. But before them, I was following my routine very carefully every day. I would wake up and I would have a glass of water. Then I would go and meditate. And I would do that every day. And it was my moment for myself.
I started to design a meditation to help me go through the healing and the grieving and the process of making myself feel better about what could be my future and to really manifest it. And now I want to share this with others so that they can understand that, yes, this is hard, but we can talk about it. We should be able to talk about it openly. And we need to be healing in order to then receive and to receive, you need to have healed your mind, body and soul.
If you don’t do that, and if you’re not aligned, then it’s difficult for the miracle of life to happen in my perspective. In this practice, with its little prayers, you can meditate on healing, on gratitude and on hope.
I use those positive words because for me, miscarriage was still a sign. My body was telling me I can get pregnant because I was pregnant twice. Doctors were telling me that at 40 years old my hormone levels were very low and chances of getting pregnant was also low. And then twice, naturally, I got pregnant. And then I got pregnant naturally with our twins. So it was a sign that I could get pregnant and I just had to be patient.
Gratitude Can Help You to Heal
I had to focus on all the things that I had and the things that I was grateful for, as opposed to what I was lacking. Because when you focus on what you’re lacking, all you get is lack in life. If you focus on positive things, focus on what you have in your life — love, family, job, country that you’re safe in, food, basic needs taken care of (which we can take for granted, but it’s not the reality for the majority of the world) — you put things in a different perspective. When I started to be grateful for all of that, as opposed to always feeling sorry for myself, it gave me an expansion of mind and expansion of heart. I released control and in that process healing occurred.
I know it’s hard wanting to start a family when your biological clock is ticking. It is difficult. I went through it. But by being so focused on it, you take the whole journey, the fun of the journey, and you transform it into this pressure-filled situation. Each month having to check that you can get pregnant, it becomes so stressful and so difficult. How can your body receive life when you put it under so much stress of wanting something to happen so badly?
Hope Does Exist after a Miscarriage
I started to shift my mindset. I had to learn what each experience of my life taught me. It has led me to so many places, it has led me to the person that I am today. Because I lost a child, I now can relate to the person that has also lost a child and I can help them. In my mind, every experience that I have had in my life has enabled me to be able to relate and help others better or be of better service to others, because I have lived what they are going through. I genuinely want to help others, so this helped me look at the situation this way.
The hardest part for me was being confronted with the raw feelings of shame, guilt, helplessness, anger and sadness. It is a mix of emotions that could send the sanest soul into limbo. Yet when the shadows appear, the shining light of hope, trust and surrender becomes our guiding light. The following practice was born out of those life experiences and provided healing to my mind, body and soul. May it bring you healing and hope.
A Meditation to Help You Heal after a Miscarriage
1. Bring your grievance into awareness.
The heart is numbed by pain. Try to visualize your little angel leaving earth and flying away like a white butterfly.
Accept any feelings and sensations that come up to the surface and allow yourself to release those feelings.
Let it flow out of your body, mind and soul.
Sit with yourself as many times as needed for you to accept what has happened, forgiving the universe and forgiving yourself, giving up the hope that the past could have been any different. Give yourself permission to let go of the hurt and release control.
Release yourself from being the hostage of your past.
Feel the shift that occurs. You will be ready to tap into the power of the healing of hope.
As Deepak would say: “Hope offers forgiveness” and forgiveness is a spiritual quality for healing.
2. Daily call in the White Light for Healing.
Each morning, prior to doing anything else, give yourself the time to be present and connect with your inner self.
Sit, light a candle and become aware of your breathing.
Observe your emotions as a flow, accept and let go of what no longer serves you by exhaling it out of your body.
When your mind is clear, close your eyes and focus your attention on visualizing a ray of white light coming from our Central Sun, entering through your Crown Chakra.
Feel its warmth in you and around you as this white light goes down and out through your root chakra to anchor you in the core of Gaia.
As you visualize this Healing White Light, with your arms up in the air forming a V-shape, repeat this mantra in your head: I call upon the White Light to heal my mind, my body and my soul. I am grateful for the White Light to heal my body, my mind and my soul. I surrender and ask for divine guidance.
3. Daily Practice of Gratitude.
What will you be grateful for today? Where your attention goes, your energy flows.
Open your eyes and wonder at the smallest things in life. Bring hope and joy in moments of darkness by practicing gratitude for what you have and do not currently have.
With a grateful heart, you have already manifested it.
Focusing on a feeling of lack or want will call just that into your life.
However, with a compassionate, pure and grateful heart, you will reprogram your thoughts, rewire your brain to shift your consciousness to limitless possibilities of the future that you will manifest.
4. Manifest your new reality
Change your own perspective and internal dialogue to envision and manifest your new reality.
- Believe in your own Happiness
- Practice Self Love
- Do the Work
- Hold in your heart the knowing that your dream of having a family will come true
- Let go of the How and When
Releasing control to greater power IS what will turn your dream into your new reality and the reason WHY doing the work is essential.
It all starts from WITHIN.
Dream in Ether, Manifest in Matter